Breaking Addictions, Major Illness, & Self Discovery

Posted on: 06/10/2019, by :

Content warning: sickness, vomiting, losing weight, addiction, self-discovery

I have been MIA for about 2- 2 1/2 months now. It’s been a hell of a ride these past couple months. I initially was MIA because of illness. I woke up one day and was achy, moody, and felt all kind of joint pain. I was crying and just couldn’t keep myself together. I went to bed and woke up in the middle of the night vomiting. No warning, no nausea. Just an instant need to throw up. I went the next 3 days in and out of consciousness with fevers, chills, body aches, vomiting, no appetite, major body pains, and extreme weakness. On the fourth day, I finally called my girlfriend and asked for her to come and get me. I was not able to care for myself, let alone my family (child and fur babies). She came and rescued me. I was not able to hold anything down. I puked everything up. I could barely keep water down and that was only sometimes. After 12 days of not eating, vomiting, and being in massive pain, I finally went to the ER. My potassium was critically low (2.4 mmol/L – normal levels are between 3.6 to 5.2 millimoles per liter (mmol/L)). SIDENOTE – Potassium helps control your heart and rhythm. I could have had a heart attack at any time. SCARY SHIT!!! I was also very dehydrated and needed four bags of normal saline. They ended up replacing my potassium with IV and oral medication (FYI – that damn potassium BURNS LIKE A SON OF A BITCH if it’s not diluted with another IV fluid!!!). They performed two CT scans, one of my abdomen and one of my chest with contrast. I was constipated too, lol. I was just fucked to the up! I ended up losing 28 lbs! But I have slowly been getting better as each goes by once I left the ER. I have increased my garlic and Emergen-C intake.

Naturally, social media was the last thing on my mind while I was sick. No Instagram, no facebook, no twitter, no nothing! You know what? I never noticed just how much time I spend on social media versus just living my life and being in the moment until I wasn’t on social media at all. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it so much I continued the absence. I am having more in-person conversations and memorable moments with my family and friends. I have missed everyone I am connected too and plan on coming back very soon. However, I will be managing my time more efficiently so I can enjoy social media without sacrificing life.

I also realized I overused quite a few things in my life once I was healing and noticing not having a craving to get a coffee or have that donut or have that ‘first thing in the morning bong rip’. My tolerance has dropped dramatically, which is making my stash last much longer (saving that money HONEY!). I had a donut the other day and it was not as enjoyable as it once was before. It WAS a day old donut, so I’ll be trying it again, soon. LOL! I really enjoy that I only use cannabis once or twice a day now. I was ripping through so much weed before and as anyone knows, indulging in cannabis use can be expensive. This is amazing. My tolerance is low so a little lasts a long time and I can have the time of my life being anxiety free, pain-free, have an elevated mood, and experience less social anxiety with just a bit.

All in all, this illness as been the pits and I and still dealing with it, but slowly I am healing. It helped me to break some bad habits, which has been a pleasant experience.